Is There a 12-Step Program for That?

Yet again, I have taken a break from writing my blog. It’s not that I don’t enjoy doing it, but sometimes, you just need a break. I have been freelancing like you wouldn’t believe – in fact, it is arguable that I may be working too much. I have been working various contract assignments for agencies in my area, in addition to taking pretty much every freelance writing assignment that comes my way.

Really, I look at it as symptomatic of freelancing. It can be such a sporadic line of work that we’re often afraid that if we don’t take every assignment that comes our way, the proverbial wellspring will dry up and we’ll have no assignments at all.

So, is there such a thing as balance when you’re always looking for your next opportunity? I wish I knew. In the meantime, I plan to continue working as much as possible until I find my next permanent job.

Still Waiting…

During my travels as a freelance writer, I’ve been working in the mad, mad world of pharmaceutical advertising. While many creatives dread the field, I think it’s interesting because it’s as much about building relationships as it is about building brands. In this world, you’re building a product’s credibility within the industry and have the opportunity to potentially save lives.

One reason why pharma agencies seem to like me is my vast experience with social media and blogging, which is something I would love to do on a full-time basis. However, the problem is that the FDA has not made any decisions yet as to how digital communication should be regulated – 14 companies were given warning letters last April because of search engine ads that allegedly violated presentation of fair balance and disclosure-of-risk information. Really, can you hold a 14 word ad on google to the same standards as a journal ad or a TV spot?

The drug manufacturers themselves have even offered possible solutions to the mess – creasting an advisory board, for one, but also offering an icon that would be along the lines of the “Good Housekeeping Seal of Approval,” which immediately identifies content that has been regulated and approved.

The audience is there – go to twitter and search for a particular drug or disease state and you will find patients who want to talk. Why the hold-up?

I find it interesting that the FDA, though skittish about allowing pharmaceutical manufacturers to use social networking platforms for dispensing drug information and answering patient questions, had no problem offering a live tweet-stream of its proceedings on digital marketing last November. Hypocritical much?

No word on when the FDA will make up its mind.

Add This to the Bookshelf

I just read a review of Jason Fried and David Heinemeier Hansson’s Rework and I’m dying to get my hands on it. This is the book you wish you’d written – smart, savvy, and so full of common sense like:

• Rethinking what we know about marketing
• The customer is king
• Implementation is as important as the “big idea”
• The need to focus on the actual issue at hand
• Why you should emulate drug dealers

This quick and powerful read outlines the rules for the new rule-breakers of the business world, and is especially for those who claim they hate business books.

Adieu, Garfield

Bob Garfield, my favorite curmedgeon at Ad Age, is finally stepping down after 25 years. Read his final thoughts on the crazy ad business.

My New Favorite Website

Yes, kids. Even the King shops at WalMart

I know it’s just plain wrong to laugh at people, but PeopleofWalmart.com is just plain hilarious. Will/should the discount doppelganger squash the site? I hope they don’t, and it’s not just because I’m easily amused. Yes, the site mocks the more eccentric WalMart shoppers, but it also went viral virtually overnight, which puts WalMart in the collective conscious of potential consumers. There isn’t enough money for that kind of publicity.

Thought Leaders and Other Marketing Wunderkind
As many of you know, I have been involved with the Community Marketing Blog since May when I competed in the blog-off. We have recently relaunched the site. To see what we’ve been up to, as well as discover some of the findings in our little social media experiment (and show me some love as I wrote this entry), check it out here.

What is a Facebook Friend Worth to You?
So you want to be a Facebook rockstar and have a grillion friends, but you just don’t have time for the legwork? Well, today is your lucky day – online ad firm uSocial can help you. Pay them and they’ll make you appear to be big on Facebook – in fact, they’ll deliver you 5,000 Facebook “friends” for 7.6 cents per friend (or a mere $654.30), or up to 10,000 Facebook “fans” for a mere 8.5 cents a fan (or $1.167.30).

Speaking of Facebook, the social networking site is testing a lite version of Facebook. Try it here.

Meanwhile…
According to a study by ComScore, online video consumption is up in the morning and late night dayparts. Anyone else not shocked? However, that’s something to keep in mind if online videos are part of your marketing arsenal.

And Finally, a Little Joy Just Before the Weekend
The outro movie from the long-anticipated Rock Band: The Beatles game. Enjoy.

The Worst and Weirdest iPhone Apps Ever Created

I admit it – I’m a total dork when it comes to my iPhone and all of the available apps. This week, I discovered the wonders of Regator. Of course, I also came across some real clunkers that have me scratching my head.

YoHottie
Basically, think of this as “Am I Hot or Not” for the iPhone generation. In a sense, it’s leering (or people-watching, depending on your inclinations) at its finest.

iCycle
For the man who wonders why his lady friend is acting strangely this week, iCycle allows you to track the menstrual cycle of that special lady (or up to 5 ladies) in your life.

Nicado
Upon first impression, Nicado seems innocent enough – it tracks and reports your exact location and lets the world know precisely where you are. Perfect for the ultimate narcissist who feels the need to let people know where they are every minute of the day. Also helpful for stalkers and freaks to track you down.

Beer
This is an application I just don’t get. The makers bill it as the ultimate keg party where the beer never runs out, but seriously, what is the point of virtual beer? And to pay .99 for it? Why?

Offender Locator/Sex Offender Search
This handy dandy app let your inner OCD run free by letting you know when an offender has moved into your neighborhood and where they work, etc. Sometimes, I think there’s such a thing as too much information.

Annoyance
If you need to exact revenge on your annoying coworker, then this is the app for you. It lets loose a series of annoying sounds like a jackhammer, crying baby, siren, chainsaw, and chewing. Beats opening one of those foil packs of tuna and crackers in your cubicle, doesn’t it?

iVoodoo
This is one of the creepiest apps I’ve ever seen. For realz, it’s a virtual voodoo doll. All you have to do is import a photo of someone into iVoodoo and then stick ‘em with virtual pins. And to make it even more ghoulish, here is the description:

iVoodoo is the answer to your magical and spiritual needs. In today’s society it can be difficult to whip out a voodoo doll and stick it full of pins … That’s where iVoodoo comes in. Just launch the app and you’ll be manifesting destinies in no time at all.

To add to the creepy fun, you can customize five dolls, you can choose from seven different pins, and there’s a pin management system, among other things. Long story short, someone takes this voodoo stuff a little too seriously for my comfort level.

MobileSpy
In case you need to step up your stalker game, check out MobileSpy. This app allows you to  surreptitiously monitor everyone who contacts you. It runs as a background app, and automatically tracks and records SMS messages, phone calls, and GPS locations. It enables the user to track down where a SMS is sent from or where a phone call is coming from. All data are automatically uploaded to a separate website where a user can access it.

iPee
If you’ve been cursed with a shy bladder, behold the wonders of iPee

Photo credits: Krapps.com

Shout Out

Kudos to client mywebWOW!, who launched their sweet refurbished website last night. More things (read: BIG things) are coming for the MWW team over the next year, so please check out their site and consider them for your web needs.

Late to the Party

So I’m a little late with this, but John Hughes was one of my heroes during my teen years because his movies captured teen angst so perfectly. What you may not know is that he was a copywriter at Leo Burdett in Chicago before making his way to Hollywood. Click here for a touching tribute from a former colleague.

Please Don’t Call me a Mommy Blogger

One of the terms I hate more than anything is “mommy blogger.” First of all, it’s insulting. Yes, I am a mother who blogs and I tend to mention my family from time to time, however, the fact that blogging mothers don’t get as much respect from the blogosphere at large as, say, political bloggers or social bloggers is absurd. For some reason, there is a misnomer that mothers who blog only write about their kids and how to get their whites whiter. For the record, I manage two blogs of my own – one is a foodie blog and the other is my marketing blog, plus I write for two online magazines, and contribute to two marketing and advertising blogs. Mommy blogger, indeed!

What has set me off on this particular course is an article I read, touting the swag BlogHer attendees took home last week. Once upon a time, advertisers didn’t take us seriously because they thought our blogs were all about our kids and homes, and not especially substantive or relevant. Then, they  came to the realization that women who blog are influencers who build brand loyalty by word-of-mouth. Who are you going to trust – some guy in a suit at an ad agency who tells you that his product is great or a mom in your play group who has actually used the product?

Not Your Mama’s Phone Interview
If you, like me, are still looking for work, you’ve no doubt been through the rigors of what I like to call Phone Interview 2.0. Remember the days when you used to get a call from someone in HR and had a pleasant, but breezy conversation that ended in an appointment for a face-to-face interview? Those days have been replaced by the new breed of phone interview. Click here to learn how to survive it.

Social Media for Competitive Intelligence
One of the things I love about marketing is strategy. While your actions have to be deliberate, you also have to monitor the competition. Thanks to Webbed Marketing’s Bill Baldarraz  for this brilliant article on how to utilize social media when doing reconn.

On my Bookshelf
I may be a little late to the party, but I’m finally on the Seth Godin bandwagon. I’ve just started reading All Marketers are Liars: the Power of Telling Authentic Stories in a Low-Trust World and I can’t put it down. If you want to master the art of  telling authentic stories, this is the book for you.

Die Fail Whale, Die!

If you spend any kind of twitter, then you know the Fail Whale: the eponymous whale that lets you know when twitter is having issues. This is especially frustrating when you’re in the middle of a conversation, promoting your latest project, or trying to track down an old friend. To vent your frustration, Andrew Conn has graced us with a Flash game that lets you take out your frustration.

Speaking of Twitter…

If you’re tired of having to do detective work every time you receive a follow request, then Twimailer is for you. Once you sign up, you will receive an email from Twimailer with a the potential follower’s user name, avatar, bio, and recent tweets, as well as links that will allow you to follow or block the user.

So What Should I Write About?
I think by now we’ve cleared the question of whether or not your company should blog, so next comes the Big Hairy Question of what you should write about. I’m asked this all the time by my clients, who are terrified of blogging because all they know are spreadsheets. Remember, blogging is about building relationships, so here’s a list to help you get started.

• Check your inbox. What are people talking about? Are there any questions you can answer?
• Comment on someone else’s blog. What blogs are you reading? Do you have an opinion about what they’re saying?
• Offer advice. Most of the time, people read blogs because they’re looking for ideas and advice to help solve their own problems. Are there any services that you can offer to help solve these problems?
• What have you been up to? Can you offer behind-the-scenes stories or insights?
• Comment on the state of the union. Are there any new developments in your field? Can you discuss real-world applications?
• Photos and videos are absolutely priceless. People love to see the proverbial “man behind the curtain” at work. Be transparent and let your clients in on what you really do.
• E-books are incredibly valuable when you offer something that your readers can’t get anywhere else, plus they are a natural blog entry.
• Share your presentations with your readers. Have someone video your latest presentation or upload your slides on slideshare and let your readers get a feel for what you presented.
• Be the News. A blog is a great place to announce the latest developments at your company – new hires, awards, new developments, technology updates, etc.
• Dialog is the New Black. Use your blog to generate debate and/or discussion with your readers. This will help spark future topics, as well as generate reader loyalty.

So Much for What we Leaned in College
Remember the basic advertising classes we took in college and they beat into our heads what differentiates a good spot from a bad one – clear call to action, make your product memorable, etc? The latest spot for Chi Chi’s Salsa breaks those rules, but still works because it’s clever, repetitive, and funny as hell. Plus, if you’re a dork like me, you’ll imitate the robot in the ad for days. Enjoy it here.

A Little Burst of Happiness

Now that the 4th of July holiday weekend is over, it’s time to get back to the business of life, in general. But, before we get back to work, I wanted to share the following with you – a commercial for the Columbus Zoo, which was recently named the best zoo in the country (after years of being #2) by USA Travel Guide. The choreography and the lyrics are an absolute riot and I can’t help but laugh every time I see the spot on TV. Enjoy!

Anyone Else Not See This Coming?

Imagine for a moment that you’re a 16 year-old boy named Zack Johnson. Now imagine that you wake up one morning, only to find that your “guy parts” have been replaced by “girl parts.” Believe it or not, this is actually a stealth viral campaign for P&G’s Tampax tampons. The campaign is anchored around a video-rich blog and even a twitter account. Despite the marketers not knowing at this point how the campaign will end, they do say they’re pleased with young Mr. Johnson’s sudden popularity.

That’s Gotta Hurt

In a textbook example of a well-executed attack ad, in “True Stories,” Best Buy calls out Walmart by name for its lackluster customer service. In the spot, an actual customer service rep recalls talking to a frustrated customer who called her from a Walmart because the associate there couldn’t answer his question about a TV. Granted, Walmart is attempting to bridge the void left by Circuit City’s closing by offering more upscale electronics at Walmart price points, kudos to Best Buy for differentiating itself in a way that is meaningful to consumers. Watch the spot here.

Whose Way is it Now?
Don’t get me wrong – I love Wendy’s and have for a long time. But what I do not love is their advertising. Maybe it’s because they went through their Golden Age of creativity with their “Where’s the Beef?” campaign in the 80′s and then hung their collective hat on the head of beloved founder Dave Thomas in the 90′s with “Dave’s Way.” However, the chain’s current approach to advertising has me confounded.

This spot bothers me in so many ways from a creative and marketing standpoint, and is truly indicative of the organization’s problems – inconsistent product quality, skyrocketing prices, and schitzophrenic advertising. I really feel that it’s time for Wendy’s to take a simpler approach and go back to the basics of value and quality.

Cannes, Schmannes
I know the advertising world is getting excited for Cannes and there are predictions flying that CP+B will take home a ton of Lions, I can’t help but yawn. Read why here.

Long Time, No Blog

I’ve had some emails from readers of my blog who want to know why I haven’t updated it lately (shame on me!). Truthfully, I have been very busy – In addition to looking for work, I’ve been networking, meeting new people, and, of course, writing. I was very fortunate to be invited to participate in a blogging competition on the Community Marketing Blog and the results are in – I made the top 5, so you may be seeing more of my writing on a much larger scale. As soon as I have the details, I will post them here. I’m also writing for Talent Zoo’s Beyond Madison Avenue blog, which means I’ll be putting my own spin on advertising and related issues.

Riddle Me This
I’ve been seeing a commercial for Pepsi that has me a bit troubled – the spot touts that Pepsi is now made with natural sugar for a limited time and called “Pepsi Throwback.”

This begs the obvious question – what were they making it with before? I’m just sayin’

This Doesn’t Bode Well
If you’re craving ice cream tonight, Sonic is offering free floats tonight between 8 and midnight while supplies last. I have a feeling this won’t go well – they’ve been running spots, the story is getting TV coverage, and the restaurants have been putting out signs in their surrounding neighborhoods. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again – free food+crappy economy=FAIL. Have we learned nothing from the Oprah-KFC debacle? I’m going on record as saying that they will run out of supplies early on and the promotion will turn ugly quickly.

Virtual Keg Party? Sweet!
Michelob is joining the twitter fray, but users who are eager to hear what the brewer has the say may be asked via direct message if they’re of legal drinking age. Industry guidleines require manufacturers to limit marketing messages to audiences where at least 70 percent of recipients are at least 21 years old, which could lead to backlash regarding how legitimate the age checks actually are. Here’s my question – what is the actual ratio of underage users to adults over 21? I have to think that at least 70 percent of users are of age, so what’s the problem? Apparently, only time will tell.

All Hail the Queen

KFC is experiencing what can only be described as Hurricane Oprah. The identity-challenged brand has re-launched its grilled chicken product, which didn’t sell too well a few years ago (“Rotisserie Gold,” anyone?) by using Oprah as its pitch person, offering a coupon for a free 2-piece meal on its website. The deal runs through May 19th (but it is not redeemable on Mothers Day) and has already overwhelmed the fast feeder. Restaurants were not prepared for the onslaught and have had to turn away scores of customers. Ouch. Will the Yum Brands-owned chain be able to maintain the hype once the campaign is over? Stay tuned.

McYawn

McDonald’s has launched its ad blitz for the McCafe line of gourmet coffees. As I’ve already said, I think this venture will be a huge McFlop for the fast feeder and the latest spot proves it. I get their point. Really, I do. They’re trying to show how wrapping one’s swine flu-infested paws around a McCafe can elevate even the most mundane of experiences, such as cubicle-dwelling at work. However, I am a firm believer that iconic brands should stick to what they’re known for, especially in today’s economy, where brand loyalty is key.

The Shudder Heard Round the Ad World

If ever there was a time when I questioned my decision to become a writer, this would be it. Work is scarce and I’m constantly bombarded by opportunities to become one of those annoying people who hand out samples in front of Walmart, so now is the time for action. Enter Lawson Clarke. The former Arnold creative has unleashed his own site on the unsuspecting public to showcase both his work and his sense of humor. Inspired by Burt Reynolds (and, frankly, who isn’t?), the hirsute Clarke lounges nude on a bearskin rug, naughty parts cleverly concealed by a well-placed TV showing a shot of the White House and playing the national anthem. I’m not sure what else is on the site because I was entranced by the waving American flag, but give it a look, if you dare.

Riddle Me This

In a massive PR campaign, former NFL star Michael Vick is attempting to rehab his image in the wake of the dogfighting scandal. He has even gone so far as to discuss endorsing animal rights group PETA in an attempt to get in the public’s good graces. So, here’s my question: how credible of a spokesman is Michael Vick expected to be against animal cruelty? Seriously.

Keepin’ It Real

It’s no secret – I’m a huge fan of grassroots marketing and, for that reason, Crimson Cup is my new purveyor of choice of my favorite legal drug – coffee. I recently had the privilege of attending my first Coffee Cuppers Club meeting, of which I learned via twitter. In addition to slurping coffee grounds and meeting new people, I also got to meet one of the roast masters and learn about what makes a good cup of coffee. No pressure and no sales tactics, just an enjoyable afternoon that helped me put a face to the brand and personally identify with it. Cheers!

What Are You Doing This Weekend?

For those that haven’t been following the Amazon debacle, allow me to recap: In what Amazon refers to as a “glitch,” last weekend, the online retailer removed from its listings many gay and/or lesbian-themed books by authors such as Gore Vidal, James Baldwin, and Jeanette Winterston, thus prompting a social media frenzy unseen since the “Motrin Moms” firestorm in 2008. Amazon has since responded, calling the incident an “embarassing and ham-fisted cataloging error,” but it was too little, too late. Using tags like “#amazonfail” and “#glitchmyass,” twitter users taught Amazon a valuable lesson: monitor your brand at all times, especially via social media, and especially on weekends. Had Amazon done just that, the company might have responded in a timely fashion, rather than having to do massive damage control, following a weekend of awkward silence.

Do you have a plan in place, should your brand be put in a similar situation? Here are some things to keep in mind:

1. First of all, decide if this is a situation over which you have any control. For example, when a company is faced with content released by disgruntled employees, making a public statement could potentially draw attention to content over which the company has no control.
2. Find out what is being said and by whom. In these types of situations, the marketer needs to know how many people saw the questionable content and how likely they are to be customers, and then react accordingly.
3. You don’t have to have all of the answers all at one time. There is no shame in saying, “we’re aware of the situation. We don’t know how it happened, but we’re dealing with it.” It shows the brand’s human side, provided that a tone of genuine remorse is also conveyed.
4. Don’t draw more attention to the problem than the situation warrants. For example, had  Motrin kept their statements geared toward the twitter users that were specifically discussing the campaign they found offensive, the situation could have been contained, rather than garnering national media attention.
5. Focus on the future and what your company will do in the future to prevent the situation from happening again. Once you convey this information to your customers, learn from your mistakes and move on.

Can I Have a Side of Snot With That?
Domino’s Pizza is learning the hard way how harmful one person with a video camera and a web uplink can be to a brand. A now-former employee and his friend uploaded a series of videos to YouTube, depicting them defiling the very food products they were making for customers (though the co-hort claims they didn’t actually serve the items to customers). Domino’s is not currently planning to make a statement about the videos, however, I’m sure that after viewing a video of a Domino’s employee shoving mozzarella cheese up his nose before putting it on a sandwich will cause at least a few customers to think twice before picking up the phone.

Fast Food Frenzy
Fast feeder Burger King is taking flak for its latest print ad, which features a squat Mexican wrapped in his nation’s flag and standing next to a tall American cowboy. Cultural stereotypes aside, the company is accused of improperly displaying the Mexican flag, which is protected by law. BK plans to scrap the creative and come up with something less offensive for the Texican Whopper.

Speaking of Burger King, in case you missed my post last week, The King is now hawking Sponge Bob Square Pants-themed kids’ meals to the tune of “Baby Got Back,” complete with the creepy ruler singing about his love of square butts and his urge to “get with” Sponge Bob, while scantily-clad women are shakin’ it in the background. Parents will be thrilled to know that the spot (shown here in its HD glory) was made in partnership with Nickelodeon.

Legal Stuff You Should Know
Sure, word-of-mouth advertising and blogs are hot right now, but the Federal Trade Commission may have something to say about it. The FTC is planning to monitor blogs and viral marketing, holding writers and marketers accountable for any false statements about products. At this point, the new policy only applies to bloggers and others who are compensated to promote or review a product.

Image Upgrade

Calling all art nerds: Iconic champagne manufacturer Veuve Clicquot has released its new posters created by French artist Florence Deygas. These represent a shift from the current, more contemporary Global Light campaign for their Rose Collection. Deygas has also created promotional art for Nokia, YSL, Vogue, Fendi, and Lacoste.

I’ll Take a Side of Creepy With That Kids’ Meal

The gang at Crispin Porter + Bogusky is out with the latest Burger King commercial, which is sure to be a bit unsettling to the fast food-loving public. This time, the creepy King statue is hawking Sponge Bob Squarepants kids’ meals to a rewritten version of “Baby Got Back.” Is this meaningful to today’s kids? Probably not. How does this rate in terms of compelling creative? Honestly, the spot gives me the willies, but you be the judge. If nothing else, it’s memorable and will generate online and water cooler buzz for a while.

A Reason to Get More People to Follow You on Twitter

Note to twitter users: DiGiorno wants you to host a tweet-up, but only if you live in New York, Chicago, or L.A. The frozen pizza giant is reaching out to influential twitter users (ie: those with a massive following) with free flatbread pizzas for their gatherings, in hopes of users spreading the word. Don’t live in one of those cities? Be on the lookout for a DiGiorno onslaught on Yelp and CitySearch starting in August, when the brand plans to target users who are searching for pizza delivery. And it won’t stop at pizza – DiGiorno is also launching a flatbread sandwich that retails for $3.49. Watch your backs, Subway and Quizno’s.

Say What???

I read an article yesterday on Advertising Age, which has me in a huff. The author states that it is a critical misstep to listen to customers too much because they always want lower prices, much to the detriment of brands. The article goes on to cite Saks Fifth Avenue as a case study – they lowered prices as much as 70% during the holiday period, and sales remained flat, anyway, thereby “proving” that the customer is not always right. Hmmmm…the customer is the one spending their money with a particular brand, thus, in a sense, signing employee paychecks, right? The way I see it is that the customer is always right since s/he can always chose to spend her/his money elsewhere. The article also makes an excellent case for perceived value and brand image. Read it here.